A blog for those who rarely see the last thing out of the box; for those who have to walk a hundred miles of darkness before they get to see a glimmer of the light.
So I believe in the things I say. I believe in recovery. I believe in the possibility of turning things around. I believe that love triumphs over all. I believe that hope is the key to recovering and conquering our enemy. I believe in miracles, occasionally. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe that mindfulness is important and can help relieve the agony we can go through as sufferers of addiction and mental illness.
However, that doesn’t mean that I’m in the best place to be dishing out advice.
Anorexia Nervosa has ruled my life for the past seven years and continues to do so.
I have relapsed. I am waiting to go back into treatment. This is imminent and will involve the indescribable mental torture of refeeding in a day unit setting.
I feel that I need to be honest in order to keep writing this blog.
I want to offer hope to others through my own determination to recover. I know that there will be times when I waver, stumble and fall. I know I will cry out in pain. I have been here before.
This time I want it to be the last.
I consider myself blessed to have the chance to recover as I recall those who have not survived the harsh and abusive regime of denial that leads to this extreme of malnutrition. Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of all mental illness and those of us who battle this illness, and so often give in to its cruel demands, forget just how easily our bodies could fail to keep running on empty.
If you’re thinking about recovery, I encourage you to take the scariest step and go for it,
Your body is not an inexhaustible resource.
This illness will make you dice with death in ways your rational self will not react to until it is allowed to surface.
Your honesty is amazing and I think it will inspire so many people (including me) to keep going with recovery or to even try to start. When you said, “your body is not an inexhaustible resource”, it really spoke to me. I think so many of us forget how much stress starvation puts on our poor bodies. Thank you for writing this post and I will be keeping you in my thoughts.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I was so touched when I read them. Your kindness and the fact that you bothered to take the time to comment mean a lot. I’m glad that something struck you. The fact that we are so very mortal is a fact that I think we easily forget. It’s too easy to take our bodies’ survival instinct for granted. I think we all do it. We all think that ‘it’ll never happen to me’… Scary really.
Thank you again.
However, that doesn’t mean that I’m in the best place to be dishing out advice.
Lastthingoutthebox 
Your honesty is amazing and I think it will inspire so many people (including me) to keep going with recovery or to even try to start. When you said, “your body is not an inexhaustible resource”, it really spoke to me. I think so many of us forget how much stress starvation puts on our poor bodies. Thank you for writing this post and I will be keeping you in my thoughts.
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I was so touched when I read them. Your kindness and the fact that you bothered to take the time to comment mean a lot. I’m glad that something struck you. The fact that we are so very mortal is a fact that I think we easily forget. It’s too easy to take our bodies’ survival instinct for granted. I think we all do it. We all think that ‘it’ll never happen to me’… Scary really.
Thank you again.
FF
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